Tonight I had the mad urge to type and type and never stop typing. My blog has been severely neglected of late and my only reason is because I just don’t seem to be able to pin down my thoughts and find a way to focus. I struggle to focus on conversations, TV, anything.
Through February I’ve been learning a lot of things I didn’t know. Or acronyms I should say. TRMan & I are actively TTC with lots of BD after our MMC. I’m dreading the wait for AF and decided not to use OPKs for at least 4 months.
If you are anything like me, when reading the above sentence you smacked your head and said “what the actual fuck does that even mean?!”. It seems, planned pregnancy is quite a lot different and much more complicated than just getting pregnant by chance! The sentence actually should read: “TRMan & I are actively trying to conceive with lots of baby dancing after our missed miscarriage. I’m dreading the wait for Aunt Flow (period) and decided not to use ovulation predictor kits for at least 4 months”. As you can see, the acronyms make it all a lot shorter to write as long as you know what you’re reading.
The above picture is: trying to conceive? (don’t know “if, re”) HCG is hormone levels. 2 days post ovulation. Cycle day 16. Ovulation Predictor Kit. Big Fat Positive/Big Fat Negative (pregnancy tests). Don’t know “LTP”. Baby Dance. WHAT??? as in What The Actual Fuck is all this?! Frozen Embryo Transfer. In Vitro Fertilisation. Intrauterine Insemination… and it goes on and on and on to be honest!
But yes, after an incident that occured and the fact that 95% of females on my instagram (ShareenARMD) are currently pregnant we have decided we are ready to try again which I didn’t think would come for a while. Honestly, it’s been hard to see all these people announce their pregnancies etc whilst I sit and think “that should have been me!” but I am slowly trying to stop being envious… Everything happens for a reason and hopefully whenever our time comes it will be a permanent blessing.
This month was actually spontaneous – we agreed to start trying at the end of February but erm, it turns out February happened to be a BD type of month LOL. And happened to be at the right times so who knows. It’s too much to hope that we get lucky on our first try but it’s so hard to stay mutual and avoid disappointment. In 3-5 days we will know whether it’s gonna be a long few months of dancing or not!
I have never had a planned pregnancy so it was really weird for me to actually sit down and discuss it and agree to try. Honestly, I found it quite surreal. But exciting. And ever so slightly stressful with all the waiting and hoping and trying not to hope.
I know I’m not the only woman to go through this regardless of miscarriages but you know I like to keep it real at all times so that anyone from anywhere can relate. So if you have been through it or are going through it – have some magic baby dust to help you on your way! Drink lots of water; get enough sleep; eat well and have fun – there’s nothing worse than duty sex that isn’t really wanted and an orgasm is almost essential to helping you get a BFP (Big Fat Positive!).