I know I am severely slacking with blog posts but I have to say this right now:
KUDOS!!!!! to you parents and bloggers balancing careers, 3 children, baking, active lifestyles, cross stitch and award winning blogs all in the space of one day. KUDOS!!
I have no idea how you do it and don’t think I ever will. I can just about manage my house, my child and my relationship with the potential to start studying coming up… Everything else is if and when possible, every now and then, if I know how LOL. I can’t even think of what to eat every day, so writing blog posts everyday is an aim but it will definitely take some time for me to master that skill.
We are happily over our stomach bug now, although TRMan did catch it from us and was here while he saw it out. Very glad because Shy has a party to attend tomorrow (her cousin’s) and then she is going to stay at her nanny’s house so TRMan and I can have a night out (the 2nd time this year) which we have had planned for a little while now. So today was a day of rushing around, buying last minute clothes, spending more money than I should have (I am consoling myself with the fact I rarely spend money on myself so it balances out somewhere) and not getting my eyebrows done (another last minute detail to deal with tomorrow evening!).
Aside from that, I wanted to just talk about something that came up in a few of my blog posts and a debate nearly every mother has (unless they can avoid it, in which case do!). Breast feeding. “Breast is Best”. Pressure. Stress. Judgement. All the things that no one warned you about when you were pregnant for the first time. Breast feeding causes controversy. It causes outrage (“how can she just whip her breast out at the table in coffee shop A?! It’s just WRONG”). Why are we as mothers, or even non-mothers, so concerned with what other women want to do with their body?
If a woman wants to sit in a shop with nothing but short shorts and a bikini top on and biker boots, we call it fashion even though there’s more skin on show than on How To Look Good Naked. But if a woman wants to quietly breast feed, there can be a problem with it. This makes sense?
Yes, breast milk has all the good things in it your baby needs, but nowadays, formula milk has been created to do the same thing. People need to realise: EVERYONE was not made to breast feed. Back when, they had wet nurses. I tried: Shy got colostrum and that is as far as breast feeding went. 2 days. Not because I didn’t want to but I physically could not handle the pain. After Shy’s first time on each breast, my nipples were already in immense pain; by day 2 they were bleeding. No one had ever told me they would bleed. The creams didn’t work. I didn’t have a nipple shield. It hurt – every time I had to feed her I was in tears, she was in a vice like grip at my breast and I was so tense I could have probably crushed her if I held any tighter. It just didn’t work. She sucked so hard, when I changed her onto bottles she collapsed the teat on every feed. I’m sorry but if you can bare that pain then good on you but I could not. And for many other reasons women might not want to breast feed. I’m now very wary of breast feeding baby number 2 as I don’t want to experience it ever again.
New mothers have enough to deal with: a new body, a new baby, no sleep, post-birth recovery, hormone changes and high emotions… Do they really need the pressure of whether they do or don’t, can or can’t breast feed on them as well? When I had to change Shy onto a bottle I ended up in tears because I felt like such a failure of a mum after only 2 days! I shouldn’t have felt that way – I had prepared for this and had formula and bottles in the house, Shy was healthy and fed. I should have been proud of my foresight and for doing what was best for Shy and myself as a first-time mum.
Some people are good cows. Good goats. Good soya beans. Whatever they prefer that’s what they are. They take to breast feeding like ducks to water. And that’s good for them. However long they or you choose to breast feed for is up to you. No one should be able to tell you when you should or shouldn’t stop. You do what is best for you and your baby.
The rest of us who weren’t so successful at breastfeeding, or chose not to, formula milk was made for a reason. Don’t feel bad for using it! As long as your baby is being fed, you’re both in good health (mentally and physically) then be happy you’re coping, you’re learning, you have a healthy baby and you are getting there. Go you Mumma!
If you feel your baby isn’t getting enough from it, you can always buy vitamin drops from most pharmacies and baby or health aisles in supermarkets etc.