I am slowly exploring me.
Who I am. Who I want to be. What can stay. Who needs to go.
It’s a slow process. Sometimes confusing. But definitely worthwhile.
My mind is in about 1000 different places at once and my ability to concentrate for a long period of time is poor because my mind is constantly wandering.
Amongst all the madness, I have stability. I’ve slowly realised that no matter what has been lost, it would never compare to losing my world and my motivation – Shiloh. I am abundantly blessed with this little person who is growing in intelligence everyday. New words, new sentences, new behaviour. She’s amazing. Resilient. Determined. Stubborn. Exciting. Interesting. And genuinely beautiful. All she wants to do is play and talk all day – I don’t think she would care if the house was always a mess as long as she was able to play and have her family play with her whenever she wanted.
She’s in a bedtime routine now and sleeps from 7pm through til 7.30am which makes my life a lot easier. She decided this herself by having meltdowns after 7pm and begging to sleep so I decided to just alter the bedtime hour.
Life is good. I have no complaints. Every day is new. Every day sure isn’t perfect. But it’s good enough for us.
I’m still here. Just finding me.